She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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