you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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