i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
