I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
