sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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