I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
