I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
