i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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