so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
