3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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