Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
