dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
