It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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