The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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