Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
