I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
