i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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