i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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