also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
