it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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