I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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