you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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