I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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