The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
