Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
