Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
