i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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