Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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