I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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