Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
