Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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