If i come over, it means nothing
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
