i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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