You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
