Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
