So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
