so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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