you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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