i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
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I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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