He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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