What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've blown a few things in my day
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Randomize
