The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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