I wannas sexs uuuuu
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
