I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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