when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
