is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
