i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
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I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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