Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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