you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
