i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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