Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.

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(406): View more from Montana

he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

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(602): View more from Arizona

So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.

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