3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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