Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
