I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
