I just made out with a guy for $7.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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