I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
