I got chris browned last night
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
