she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
