I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
